Most people don’t realize that self-esteem is something that takes work. We assume it is a given or that we either have it or don’t. But this isn’t so. Self-esteem can be improved by spending some time working on three fundamental parts of ourselves: Our ability to value ourselves, to unconditionally love ourselves and to be open to growing.
Valuing ourselves means that we believe that we are worthy and valid as a human being. That we are equal to all others and that we believe in our internal worth and don’t rely on external successes as a measure of competency. The part about loving ourselves is feeling good about who we are. It is about having a positive attitude and not just focusing on the parts of ourselves that we find challenging. The third component, growing, is about developing the improvements we want to see in our lives and moving towards personal goals. It is also about practicing strategies to help us believe we are valuable and feel that we are loveable. An important part about these three fundamentals of self-esteem is that we need to value and love ourselves before we can really take a shot at growing and improving ourselves. If you’ve been having a hard time sticking to goals lately, it is likely that you need to spend some more time first on valuing and loving yourself!
Listed below are some quick tips and self-esteem activities to help nurture these three parts of yourself. These suggestions will help you develop a more rational and appreciative view of yourself.
1. Value Yourself
- When you feel you’ve failed at something, try and find at least one thing that you did well.
- Think of the qualities you possess that:
a) A loved one would point out.
b) That helped you through the hardest time in your life
c) That you contribute to your closest friendship.
2. Unconditional Love
- What are your favorite things about yourself?
- What traits do you have that your loved ones might admire?
- For one week, look into the mirror at least once a day and repeat the sentence “even though_______ (think of something disappointing) happened today, I still love ______ (think of something you appreciate about yourself) about myself.”
3. The Ability to Grow
- Once a week make a positive health choice.
- Speak more assertively to others about the things that you need from your relationship. Being kind, empathetic and non-blaming in your delivery will lessen the likelihood of upsetting the person and increase the likelihood of you getting what you need.
- Try replacing negative thoughts you have about yourself with a healthier and more realistic view of yourself. Pay attention to what the facts about the situation say as oppose to being inclined to making negative assumptions about yourself.’
Practicing some of these tips in the areas of love, worth and growth will allow you to develop a more appreciative and realistic view of yourself. Now go and spend some time discovering all the amazing things about you!
To learn more about how to improve your self-esteem I suggest reading “The Self- Esteem Workbook” by Glenn R. Schiraldi.