What's Your Love Language?

The Five Love Languages
What’s Your Love Language?

We each have a love language. We all have a certain way that we feel most loved. It’s those things that someone can do that make you feel so adored! Or, if your partner is unaware of you love language, it can also be those things that her or she isn’t doing and that cause you the most frustration!

According to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Language, there are only five common love languages. With only five different languages that Chapman has discovered, once you’ve figured out your own, you can easily give your partner tips on how you feel most loved! Also, you can easily figure out what your loved one’s language may be and can learn how to make him or her even happier in your relationship!

Take a look at the Five Love Languages below and see which ones best match you or your partner. To help you decide which fits you the most, think about what you often request from your partner? What hurts the most? How do you show love to others? What would your ideal partner look like?:

  1.  Word’s of Affirmation
    If a person’s primary love language is words of affirmation they appreciate statements from a partner such as “wow you look great tonight!”. The person knows that they are loved when they are verbally encouraged, complimented, spoken kindly. They are most responsive to requests that are made in a non critical way and this promotes the person’s ability to complete the request.
  2. Quality Time
    A person with this love language has a great need for undivided attention, focus, shared activities and quality conversation.
  3. Receiving Gifts
    A gift for these people means that they were thought of by their loved one. The gift need not be monetary and physical presence is one of the greatest gifts in times of need.
  4. Acts of Service
    If a person is most pleased when their husband takes out the garbage, then this is their love language. Love is expressed through doing tasks for a partner.
  5. Physical Touch
    Kissing and intimacy are favorites of a person with this love language. During times a crisis, holding the partner is the utmost expression of love.

If there are a few that apply to you or your, just pick the one that is jumping out at you the most! This is your primary love language! Although, there may be other elements of showing love that appeal to you as well! Now that you have decided upon which fits you or your partner, it’s time to talk about it together! Let them know exactly how you feel most loved and provide concrete suggestions for how they can better do this for you! A common misconception in relationships is people thinking that “my partner should KNOW what I need”. Guilty of that? Well, it’s very difficult to mind read! TELL your partner exactly what you need!

A person’s “love tank” can become empty if their partner does not express love in a way they understand. The person’s love tank can become full if their partner can learn and provide love through the actions necessary to speak to the partner through their love language. We develop our love needs in childhood and they are consistent across the lifetime. Meaning, we are who we are and we need to tell our partner what we need!

If you aren’t currently in a relationship, you now have some key information in understanding who will be a good future match for you. Look for someone who displays love in the way you appreciate most and you will end up feeling more satisfied in the relationship down the road!

With over seven million copies sold and a slot on the number one New York Times Bestseller List, Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages is certainly a must read for anyone looking to feel more satisfied in their love relationships. 

About author:

Per erat natum scribentur eu, ne vim congue ullamcorper. Sint rebum graeco ad ius. Qui no invidunt legendos. Sea an atqui choro melius. Ex sea suas dictas pri case.

View all posts by Cassandra Petrella, MA